Random musings of a harmless madwoman.

Tonight I was gifted the opportunity to go to an art show and dance performance focusing on stories of the transgendered.  I entered the studio in support of a friend and left transformed.

As I read the stories that inspired the artist’s pieces, I was in awe of the brave souls who came out, who spoke their truth, who shared their journeys of being confused and shunned and unloved and tortured and becoming the person on the outside that was always living on the inside.

Then my friend, Dani, performed a few pieces he created especially for the art show.  Before the performance, he talked about how nervous he was about getting it right, staying true to the stories, keeping integrity in his interpretation.  I tried to reassure him that his work always comes from his heart so he couldn’t get it wrong.

Watching the performance, I wept.  It was so moving.  Somehow, me, as a straight, white girl connected with a gay, black man putting the stories of transgendered people into movement and monologue.

No matter what my trials have been in life, they haven’t been constant, since my earliest memories, involving societal shunning and familial shaming.  No matter how much I wished my breasts were bigger, my skin were tanner, my face was prettier, at least I had breasts and I only knew I was a girl.  I can’t really imagine what it’s like to be a girl and feel like a boy.  I can’t imagine being a man who longs for breasts and hates his penis so much that he actually attempts to cut it off himself.

So I wept.

I wept for so many beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, funny, incredible people I know who are gay and transgendered and had/have to struggle to just be themselves.  I wept for so many who gave up struggling and for all their gifts that the rest of the world will never know.  I wept for the courage and heart and love that haters can’t know but the rest of the world is blessed by tenfold.  I wept for the love and connection that was in that room – from the artist to Dani to some of the transgendered interviewees to the 80-year-old white lady with her cane who all came together to see and share in the stories and the performance.

I still find myself saying ‘gay wedding’ and wondering when I’ll just say ‘wedding’.  I don’t mean to distinguish so much as celebrate.  Celebrate and rejoice that people, especially friends I love like crazy, can get married.  I hope a day will come when being gay or transgendered is so normal and accepted that children and people aren’t hated by others or themselves for just being who they were born to be.

July 12, 2014 – transgendered, transformed, transcended.


Comments on: "Transformed, July 12, 2014" (6)

  1. Beautifully written. Thank you for writing such special words and for being an excepting and fabulous person. I wish for the same things and have seen a lot of change since I came out. It only gets better!

  2. Thank you, Keith! I’m so happy my kid and her friends are so accepting. For the most part, they feel safe coming out. It’s such a non-issue. What matters is love and kindness. ❤

  3. Reblogged this on Kate Sitka and commented:
    Lovely piece by blog member, Martipants.

  4. Awesome, M. Thanks for this.

  5. I nearly cried just reading this. Loved it. Thank your for sharing your experience. I only wish there was video of the dance. 🙂

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